I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize