all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
