I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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