you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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