Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh god it's open bar.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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