i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His nipple licking is glorious
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