if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
