So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
