he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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