I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
