I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
