Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
