i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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