Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
