If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
