Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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