I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
