I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
