Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
