ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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