I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize