So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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