If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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