bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's never too late to be topless.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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