ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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