I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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