I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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