Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm like, not good at living.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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