The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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