I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
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Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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