Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
