I feel great
I just peed on a car
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
