D3 body, D1 cock
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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