So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Send help, water and tortillas.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
