FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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