Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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