Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
