thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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