I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
