Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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