Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
