it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
