Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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