wat bout pragnant strippers??
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
