so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
