I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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