she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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