He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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