Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
