absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize