dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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