bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just high enough for therapy.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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