Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have demons in me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize