she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
