don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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