i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize