Grow some girl-balls and come out already
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
