Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
tell me about the eggs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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