i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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