i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
