hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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